Stalking Sasukekun
by Goatis
Summary: What happens when Ino spies Sakura climbing into bed with Sasuke?  And why does it sound like their doing something so dirty...intimated SaiInoNaru and SasuSaku


Stalking Sasuke-kun

A Fun little Sasu/Saku

Ino was doing her usual Saturday morning routine, you know, water the plants in the greenhouse, fight with her mother, stalk Sasuke-kun, you know, normal stuff.

So when she saw Sakura suddenly appear out of no where and knock on his door and then quickly enter her crushes house and close the door behind her, she got very angry and suspicious.

'I mean, who the hell did she think she was, just walking into Sasuke-kun's house like that? Being his teammate did not give her the right…" The seventeen year old girl thought hotly. She snuck out of the bush she'd been hiding in until she crouched just below his bedroom window, then she stealthily peeked over the edge of the window sill just in time to see Sakura burst into the room and bent over the bed in an intimate way, as if to wake her beloved with a kiss.

Ino gasped in shock and ducked out of sight her heart thumping madly in her chest, but like a scene from a horror film she couldn't seem to force herself to look away, or rather, shut out the words she could hear from through the open window. She of course couldn't bring herself to watch. She could hardly move, let alone breathe.

"Sakura, what the hell? Hey! What do you think your doing just coming in here and getting in bed with me?" Sasuke's voice was at first sleep filled and then a little mad. "You and your fan girl horde can't just keep coming in here and taking off your clothes!"

"Wait! Sasuke-kun I need help!" Came Sakura's cry a second later, more like a plea than anything.

"You always need it!" He snapped in reply

"But today I really need it! Here look!" There was more muffled words that Ino couldn't hear and the rustling of fabric.

"Hey! Why are you taking your shirt off? And I don't see what you need help with, why can't you just do this yourself? Isn't that what you normally do?"

"Well, normally I would, but can't you see I really need your help this time?" Came Sakura's pitiful plea in reply.

"It looks just like any other. I don't see what the travesty is. Why don't you just get someone else, like Naruto he'd be happy to help…he's always trying to get closer to you anyway."

"Ew! No way! I don't want him to touch me there! I need you Sasuke-kun, you're the only one who can do it for me…" Her voice trailed off at the end a little in a lusty lilt and Ino tried to get her body to move away from the house and plan some counter strategies to get the big forehead girl away from Sasuke. But she couldn't seem to move her self, as if she was caught in Shikamarou's shadow imitation jutsu and frozen in place while listening to the awful scene play out in the room behind her.

"Fine, but I've never done this before, have you?" Sasuke asked in a muffled voice.

"Not like this, no."

"Okay then just lie there and gimme a minute to think how to do this, let me get a better look and we'll go from there…" Came Sasuke's voice a bit gentler this time. "Before we do anything we should probably get cleaned up, why don't we do some quick showering and then get down to it."

'No way! He's actually getting into it! That cow must've brainwashed him, I have to save Sasuke-kun!' Ino thought desperately, but just as she was about to burst forward into action two bodies burst through the foliage she was hiding behind and rolled right into Ino with enough force to knock the breath out of the poor girl.

"Stupid jerk, wait'll I become Hokage, I'll make you do nothing but D-rank missions for the rest of your life!" The purple faced Uzumaki, Naruto wheezed in an uncharacteristically quiet voice. Probably due to the majority of his air being cut off at the moment by the black haired sexy Sai that had his arm wrapped around his former teammates throat in a strangle hold.

"A baby-dick like you would never be able to become Hokage." Sai stated in his usual emotionless voice. Ino immediately reached out and covered both their mouths with her hands to shush them so that they wouldn't be heard by the couple through the open window. But they'd been talking and hadn't heard the scuffling around outside the window.

"Your so wet your leaking all over my bed Sakura, don't you have better discipline than that?"

"Well sorry! I just can't stop thinking about it! It's so huge!" Sakura shot back

"Come on, Sakura, you work in a hospital you can't tell me you've never seen one this big before." Sasuke replied in that smug tone of his that Ino knew so well. The boys were struggling against her now as she tried to hold them still, so she wrapped her legs around Naruto's waist pinning his arms to his sides in an effort to keep him still and quiet. Sai was simply listening intently to the conversation beyond the window.

"Wait I'm not ready yet Sasuke-kun, Ouch! That's not how you do it!" Came Sakura's loud shriek

"Really, Sakura you are such a baby. That was just the tip of it. It can't hurt that badly."

"How would you know when I'm the one getting pricked here? You'd find it painful too if someone stuck that in you!" Sakura's voice sounded muffled as if she had her head stuck into the pillow. Naruto had gone very still, and Sai was positively statuesque.

"Listen, I'm not even doing it hard, it only hurts because you keep squirming around." There was some more muffled conversation that they couldn't make out.

"What? I couldn't understand you with you're face in the mattress like that. And quick being perverted with my pillow, I'm trying to work here!"

"Sorry, Sasuke-kun." Sakura sounded a little breathless at this point. "But I just can't stop thinking about it. I can't understand how you can even stand to look at that, it's just so big and gross."

"It's not gross, it's perfectly natural. In fact I'm sure you know that almost all men have them, including me, and you don't find me disgusting. I can tell." Sasuke grunted back in a husky whisper.

"I know, I once saw Sai partially naked and his was really big too and he seemed really proud of it, like it was some accomplishment!"

"Jeez it's not hard to see that nobody half naked, he walks around like that all the time. And why would he tell you he was proud of it anyway, he doesn't even like you." Sasuke-kun sounded kind of angry and out of breath now.

"OUCH! Too hard! Sasuke-kun be a little gentler!" Sakura practically screamed for the entire neighborhood to hear.

"And he didn't tell me, it was when we were on a mission together once and I accidentally saw him bathing, and I just assumed he was proud of it because he was smiling and playing with it!"

"Jeez Sakura you're a bigger pervert than Kakashi." Sasuke-kun mocked with a dramatic Uchiha chuckle.

"I am not, it was an accident and I bet you play with yours too, Sasuke-kun!"

"Hah! I would never! I would never have to stoop that low, not when I could get one of those silly fan girls to come over and do it for me. Besides I bet mine would be more fun to play with than your Ink-boy's any day, plus I bet mine are bigger."

"What do you mean are, like you have more than one? That's impossible."

"Of course I have more than one, and their all huge due to massive amounts of training." This was just getting too weird. "Here, see this one?"

"Oh, gross Sasuke-kun put that away, that's unnatural." Sakura squealed.

"Oh, please. Get a grip Sakura, lots of people have these, I'm sure Kakashi could cover an entire wall with his…" The small group sat under the window, their eyes wide as dinner plates and didn't breathe.

"Ooh…What are you doing Sasuke-kun, that kind-of tickles." Sakura moaned.

"Don't worry about it, just lay back and try to relax, this should only hurt for a second."

"Ouch, stop stabbing me!"

"I told you it would hurt, now just relax!"

"It's too deep, it feels like I'm going to be split in half! Careful Sasuke-kun…you going to slice me to pieces!"

"I'm being as gentle as I can! But if you don't stop wriggling like that I can't control it!"

"Augh! I'm bleeding, I didn't know there would be this much blood!"

"Oh give me a break it's just a trickle you big baby."

"Maybe you should kiss it and make it better, Sasuke-kun…" Sakura said in a seductive voice.

"I am not putting my lips anywhere near that, I don't care what anyone else does." Sasuke retorted

"Then can I at least have a band-aid or something?" Sakura pleaded

"You don't need a band-aid for THAT. Just wipe the blood off and you'll be fine, now I need to finish up and then you can go." Sasuke-kun sounded so heartless when he talked like that.

"Mou, you're so mean Sasuke-kun. You know I love you. You should let me stay, we could rebuild your clan together. I could help you in so many ways Sasuke-kun." Sakura purred at the sole remaining Uchiha. "Of course I could always help you like you helped me…This was like training, ne Sasuke-kun? You help me, and I help you…I know you'll just love it, you like pain, right?"

"Depends on what kind of pain you're talking about." There was a heavy thump from inside. "Hey get off of me, if your going to do this we should be standing up or at least let me be on top, this is undignified. As an Uchiha I refuse."

"Oh, now Sasuke-kun, I think you'll like being dominated…"

That was all Ino and the two boys heard as Sai could no longer take the stimulating conversation, he grabbed the two others and ran back to his place. He wanted to show Ino just how big his penis was, after all, he really was proud of it and did like playing with it. But if he could get Ino to play with it….

Meanwhile back in the Uchiha residence.

"Sakura I don't need any wounds stitched. I unlike you didn't go overboard sparring this morning and get a shuriken imbedded between my shoulder blades. Besides, if it wasn't urgent why didn't you just pull it out yourself like I do."

"Aw, but mine was unreachable, it was right next to my spine, I had to get someone else do it for me."

"Hn." The Uchiha just smirked up at her from underneath her half naked form that straddled him pinning him to the floor, not that he couldn't have removed her. "Why didn't you just go to the hospital then, you're a medic, and everyone knows you're Tsunade's apprentice, they'd take care of you right away. Besides, as a guy, I'd do it myself because I don't mind scars, but scars don't look so good on girls, even for a small flesh wounds like that."

"Now, Sasuke-kun do you need any help with something else maybe?" Sakura just smiled coyly at him her flowery hair hanging down sexily in her face and dangerously close to his own.

He just raised an eyebrow at her.

"Fine. I'll just go ask Sai if he needs any healing or…special help." Sakura said sticking her tongue out at the man beneath her and moving to get off of the sexy man she was sitting on top of, who still was clad only in his boxers, fresh from bed. But he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down.

"Perhaps I do need help with something…" He said gripping her waist and picking them both up off the floor in a smooth strong movement.

"Oh, and what could that be, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked looking up as the man dumped her back onto his bed and climbed in with her.

"Why a comparative analysis of course, you're familiar with studies like that in your line of work aren't you?" He asked mockingly.

"Yes, but what am I studying?" Sakura replied smirking up at the man as he crawled up between her legs and looked down into her eyes.

"Well, I'm sure you've seen one of these…"


End file.
